The Way You Say My Name Page 2

  He glanced at the clock. Half-past five. He really should think about getting ready if he was gonna pick Megan up at seven. He was just about to hop in the shower when the phone rang. He grabbed the cordless and said, “Yeah?”

  “Great phone manners, Carver.”

  “Since when did you give a rat’s ass about manners, Barnes? Aren’t you the same guy who can belch the Star Spangled Banner in three octaves?”

  “Hey, a guy’s got to have a talent. There’s more to Mr. Ashton Barnes the Third than the handsome, athletic specimen I present to the world. I believe in being well rounded.”

  “Uh, huh. So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call?” He and Ash were friends, but phone conversations were few and far between. He knew for sure something was up when Ash’s voice dropped and all traces of the teasing tone he’d answered with disappeared.

  “I heard some of the guys talking this afternoon at Hailey’s. I stopped off to get a bite to eat after school and heard Rooster and some of the rest planning something for tonight.”

  Dillon’s body went rigid. Rooster was Roy Carmichael, the biggest homophobe on campus. If he was involved, it couldn’t be good. “What kind of something?”

  “I’m not sure. They shut their traps when they realized I was listening, but I’m pretty sure I heard the word ‘fag’ mentioned more than once. My guess is they’re pissed about the G.S.A. hosting that thing tonight and looking to stir up some trouble.”

  Dillon tapped his fingers on the back of the receiver. “Why did you call me? Why not Morgan or one of the teachers?”

  He could hear Ash swallowing. “Because I know you and James Walker used to be tight. I thought you might know how to get in touch with him. I was afraid to do it myself. I don’t want anyone to think. . .”

  “You’re afraid everyone will think you’re gay if you get caught sticking up for a bunch of gay guys. Is that it?”

  Ash went on the defensive. “Look, Dillon, I was trying to help. I should have known better than to come to you with this. I don’t want to see anybody get hurt, but I could have guessed you wouldn’t care. Everyone knows you ditched James the minute he came out. I’ll handle it myself.”

  “Wait.” Ash didn’t hang up, so Dillon took that as his cue to continue. “I’m sorry, man. I’ll handle it. You did the right thing by calling me. Thanks.” There were only two things he could do, hang up, or change the subject. He went for the subject change. “So, you got a hot date tonight?”

  “Yep. Chad and I are doubling with Blair Dees and Nina Ivan.”

  Dillon shook his head. The two easiest girls in school. He should have known, given Ash’s reputation with the ladies. “Who gets who?”

  Ash snorted. “Who cares? We’re only going to be at that lame-ass dance long enough to put in an appearance, anyway. Then it’s straight down to Pepper Road. You taking Megan?”

  “Yep. I was on my way into the shower when you called.”

  “Hey, don’t let me keep you. I had P.E. with you three years running. I know how nasty those pits of yours get. I’ll catch you tonight. And Carver?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m sorry for what I said. About you dropping James, I mean.”

  “Hey, the truth’s the truth. You and me, we’re good.”

  “Sweet. See you tonight.”

  Dillon disconnected and debated his next move. He could call Principal Morgan directly, or any one of a dozen teachers. But as president of the G.S.A., it was pretty much Jamie’s call. He picked the phone back up and punched in the familiar numbers. Even after two years, his fingers wove an automatic pattern over the keys.

  Jamie answered on the second ring, his voice rich and smooth. “Hello?”

  Dillon’s mind went blank. Hearing Jamie’s voice did something to him. Jamie said hello twice more before Dillon was able to say, “James?”

  “Yeah, this is James.” A pause. “Dillon? Is that you?”

  “Ah, yeah. Have you got a minute?”

  The surprise Dillon had first heard turned to wariness. “Just one. What do you need?”

  If only he knew what Dillon needed. But he couldn’t tell him. Not yet. Instead, he said, “I just got a call from one of the guys at school. He seems to think there’s gonna be some trouble at the dance tonight.” He repeated what Ash had said, without giving away his identity.

  When he was finished, Jamie said, “Why?”

  “I don’t know. I guess some guys just like to start trouble.”

  “That’s not what I meant. I want to know why you’re calling me with this.”

  “I told you, some guys are planning on starting trouble. I thought you’d want to know.”

  “Not to seem ungrateful, but since when do you care what happens to a bunch of queers?”

  Damn. “Jamie, I--”

  “Look, Dillon, I’ve gotta go. Thanks for the info. I’ll pass it along.” He hung up before Dillon could say another word.

  * * *

  Jamie couldn’t help but laugh at Ben’s choice of attire. The dance wasn’t formal, by any means, but somehow he doubted Ben’s ripped jeans, black leather jacket, and white wife-beater were what the dance committee had in mind when they recommended casual wear. Jamie looked down at his black pants and his dark blue button-front shirt. “Why is it I always feel overdressed when you’re around?”

  “Probably because you are. Looks good on you, though.” He stood in the doorway, giving Jamie a good looking over. “Are you ready to go, or do we need to say goodbye to your aunt first?”

  “I’m ready.”

  “Good. Now, you wanna tell me why we have to be there so damn early? You were a little hazy on the phone.”

  “I got a phone call warning me there was gonna be trouble tonight. I called Principle Morgan and he suggested an emergency meeting of the G.S.A. and the Student Council to decide how we want to handle it.”

  “A phone call, huh? Who from?”

  Jamie hesitated. “Dillon Carver.”

  Ben whistled. “Carver, huh? Wonder what he’s up to?”

  Jamie shrugged, trying his best to cover the confusion and longing inside him. “Who cares as long as we stop it before it starts. Besides, Dillon is on the student Council, so maybe he’ll enlighten us.” And Jamie would have an excuse to look at him outright without having to sneak glances when no one was looking.

  Ben said. “If you say so.” He pointed to his car as Jamie pulled on his coat. “Your chariot awaits.”

  Jamie closed the door but paused on his way to the car. “You sure you don’t mind going in early? I can get Aunt Sadie to drop me off.”

  “Nah. It’s not like I have anything better to do.” He kept walking. “When are you gonna let me teach you how to drive?”

  Jamie shuddered. “Ain’t gonna happen, my friend. I told you what happened when Aunt Sadie tried to teach me. I froze.”

  “We can work on that.” The expression of horror on Jamie’s face was so comical, Ben laughed. “Alright, chicken, get in the car. But this conversation is far from over.”

  Jamie just shook his head and got in.

  * * *

  As usual at these meetings, the Student Council members sat on one side of the oak conference table in Principle Morgan’s office and the G.S.A. officers sat on the other. Dillon, as Student Council vice president, sat next to Megan, the president. The other members of both groups wandered in a few at a time and started filling in the empty seats. Dan Morgan came in a few minutes later.

  “I want to thank all of you for coming in early, and I assure you, we’ll make this as brief as possible.” His wavy brown hair didn’t so much as sway when he stood up to take his place behind the lectern at the head of the table. Dillon wondered for the hundredth time if the guy used hairspray. He watched as Morgan’s brown eyes took on a dull shine under the fluorescent lights. It wasn’t that Morgan was bad looking. He was actually kind of attractive in a between thirty-five and forty-ish sort of way. He filled out the black pants and g
ray turtleneck shirt he was wearing as well as any G.Q. model ever could. But there was something about him that struck Dillon as false, no matter how good he looked. Maybe it was the wooden smile he almost always wore. Or maybe it was that he tried just a little too hard to convince everyone that he was the poster boy for gay acceptance. Whatever it was, he gave Dillon a weird vibe.

  Dillon’s gut tightened as Jamie ran in, Ben Lewis on his heels. He collapsed into a chair not far from Morgan and motioned for Ben to sit next to him. “Sorry we’re late.”

  “No problem, James. We were just getting started.” Morgan leaned into the podium. “Before we start--yes, Dillon? Was there something you wanted to say? I saw your hand go up.”

  “Yes, sir. If this is supposed to be a meeting of the G.S.A. and the Council, then what is he doing here?” He looked at Ben as if he were a squished bug on the bottom of his shoe.

  Before Morgan could answer, Jamie said, “He has a name. Ben is my date, and he’s here because I asked him to be.”

  Dillon felt the word date like a heart punch, but he’d be damned if he’d let it show. “I don’t care whose date he is, he shouldn’t be in here.”

  Ben shrugged. “If you want me out, Carver, you can always come over here and throw me out.”

  Dillon started to rise, but Megan grabbed at his hand. “No,” she whispered. “Remember the plan. Don’t blow it now.”

  Principle Morgan cleared his throat. “I suggest we get back to the reason why we’re here in the first place. Since these are special circumstances, Mr. Lewis can stay. But I’m warning you both,” he looked back and forth between Dillon and Ben, “If I hear any more threats from either one of you, you’ll both be out of here and on your way to a three day in-school suspension. Am I clear?” They both nodded. When Morgan moved on to the business at hand, Ben shot Dillon a smug smile that made Dillon’s fingers itch. He couldn’t remember ever wanting to hit anyone so bad in his life.

  Morgan tapped on the podium. “Now that we have that settled, I must inform you of the distinct possibility that we may have trouble tonight.” Several of the students started speaking at once, but Morgan put up his hand for silence. “We don’t know anything for certain, but there’s a good possibility that our gay and lesbian students may be targeted. That’s why I’ve called the sheriff and asked him to send some men over to patrol tonight.” A murmur of complaints rose, but again Morgan threw up his hand. “I’m sorry if this cramps your style, but we have to send a message that bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated here at Plunkett.” He turned to Jamie. “James, I want you to be especially careful. If these guys are upset about the fact that the dance is being hosted by the G.S.A., you’re the most natural target.”

  “Don’t worry, Mr. Morgan. I’ve got Jamie’s back. He’s in good hands with me. And I won’t let him out of my sight. I’m gonna be all over him.” There was so much sexual innuendo in what Ben said, several girls giggled, Jamie blushed, and Dillon gnashed his teeth until his gums hurt.

  Morgan tugged at his collar. “Yes. . .well, I appreciate that, Ben, but we’ll let the sheriff’s men do their job.” He looked down at his watch before readdressing the room. “If there’s nothing further, you’re free to go. I want you all to enjoy yourselves, but please be careful, and remember to report anything suspicious.”

  The room emptied shortly thereafter. Dillon and Megan were on the side opposite the door, so they were among the last to leave. Dillon was forced to watch as Ben took Jamie‘s hand and led him out. He felt Megan rubbing his arm through the flannel shirt he wore over his black t-shirt, in a gesture he was sure meant to soothe, but he was beyond comfort. The one thing he wanted more than anything else in the universe belonged to someone else. What in the hell was he supposed to do now?

  * * *

  The darkened gym vibrated with one rock ballad after another while crepe paper hearts littered the floor. Not even the sight of no less than four men in police uniform had killed the romantic mood, if the throng of couples making out all across the dance floor were any indication. Ben pointed to a private spot on the edge of the dance floor. He gave Jamie a mock bow. “Can I have this dance?”

  Jamie swallowed, hard. “I’ve never, uh. . .danced, before. Not really, anyway. I’m not sure I know how.”

  Ben shook his head. “Anybody can slow dance, J.” He held out his arms. “Just lean into me and follow my lead.”

  Jamie’s mind was a swirl of confusion. He couldn’t understand this change in Ben. For two years, all his advances were playful, only half-serious. Tonight was different. From the minute they walked into Principal Morgan’s office, Ben started treating him like private property. He was about to ask him about it when Ben said, “Come on, J. You know you can trust me. It’s just a dance.”

  Jamie gave up and walked towards him. Ben circled his arms around Jamie’s waist and began to rock his hips with the music, leaving Jamie to follow. Ben laughed. “See, this isn’t so bad, is it?”

  “Nah. It’s kinda nice, actually.” And it was. It had been two years since another guy had touched him, other than the occasional handshake or slap on the back. Dillon had been the first, and the only. And even with Dillon, the touching had been limited. Dillon’s main focus had been to get off, to gain pleasure only for himself. Dillon had never even kissed him. Jamie had been the giver in everything from oral sex to jacking off. The only time Dillon ever touched him in an intimate way was to prepare him for sex, and then it was minimal. Dillon topped him, got what he was after, and was done, leaving Jamie to take care of himself if Dillon got off before he did. God, he’d been such an idiot.

  Ben peered down into Jamie’s eyes. “What are you thinkin’ about?”

  “Just about what a jerk I was two years ago.”

  “You mean with Carver?”

  “Yeah.”

  Ben’s hand made circles back and forth over the small of Jamie’s back. “You got that backwards, J. Carver was the jerk, not you. The guy didn’t deserve you.” His voice fell to a whisper, barely audible above the roar of the music. “I wish to God I’d met you first.”

  Jamie started to speak, but Ben put one long finger against Jamie’s lips. “Shh. I know you don’t feel that way about me, and it’s okay. At least let me show you what you’re missing.” And before Jamie could protest, Ben lowered his head and covered Jamie’s mouth with his own.

  * * *

  Dillon watched in something akin to horror as Ben rammed his tongue down Jamie’s throat. If he’d had any doubts about their relationship before, he sure as hell didn’t now. Losing Jamie to Lewis might be no less than he deserved for being such a selfish bastard, but he’d be damned if he’d go down without a fight. He and Megan were dancing not fifteen feet away from where the other couple stood, but when Ben started making out with Jamie, Dillon stopped and just stared, his whole body rigid. Megan turned around to see what was going on and put her hand over her mouth.

  “Oh my God.” She turned back to Dillon. “Are you okay?”

  “Peachy as hell.”

  “Dillon--”

  He moved back. “I can’t do this. I’m not gonna stand here and do nothing while Lewis takes him away from me, Megan. I’ve waited too damn long to give up now.” He watched as Jamie pulled away from Ben and stepped off the dance floor, heading towards the men’s bathroom. He started forward, but Megan put her hand on his arm.

  “What are you gonna do?”

  Dillon ran his fingers through his hair. “I have to talk to him, Meggie. If I wait any longer, it’s gonna be too late. It may be already, as far as that goes, but I have to try.” He broke away from her grasp and headed in the direction Jamie had gone. He thought he heard her mumble something like “so much for the plan,” but right now he could care less about any plan. All he knew for sure was that he had to talk to Jamie, and he had to do it now.

  He opened the bathroom door and found Jamie bent over one of the sinks, splashing water on his face. The pants Jamie was wearing molded to h
is body, making Dillon want more than anything else at that minute to brush up against him, to feel the soft curves for himself. He forced that thought out of his mind. He had to take it slow. The last thing he wanted to do was scare Jamie away.

  Dillon moved as quietly as possible to where Jamie stood and pulled a paper towel off the roll. The clicking of the dispenser caused Jamie to pop up in a sudden motion that sent water trailing down his neck. Dillon took advantage of Jamie’s surprise and used the paper towel to sponge the water off his face. He followed one small bead down into the hollow of Jamie’s throat, causing himself to harden and Jamie to swallow.