The Way You Say My Name Read online

  “Dillon, what . . . what are you doing?”

  “Your face was wet. I was wiping it off.”

  Jamie snatched the paper towel out of Dillon’s hand and backed away. “I can do it myself.” He moved back even further. “What do you want?” He looked around as if he was making sure they were alone. Dillon doubted that he was happy about the fact that they were. “Did you follow me in here?”

  Dillon didn’t want to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was, but he wasn’t about to lie to him. “Yeah.” Jamie looked so alarmed Dillon put up his hand. “I didn’t come in here to cause trouble, Jamie. I just wanted to talk.”

  “James.”

  “Huh?”

  “My name is James. Only my friends and family call me Jamie. As I remember it, you chose not to be in either category.”

  Damn. Well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t expected this. Forcing himself to take it slow, he said, “I just want to talk to you James. Please.”

  “Why would you want to talk to me? It’s not like we’re friends. Like I said, you made that choice.”

  As openings go, it wasn’t much, but it was a start. “You’re right. I did make that choice, and it’s one I regret. We might not be close now, but we used to be. I was hoping we could be again.”

  “Why?” Jamie’s voice was shaking, but even after two years, Dillon could tell that he was weakening. “Why, after all this time, do you want to talk to me? I tried for weeks after you dumped me to get you to even speak to me, but you pretended like I didn’t exist. You got your mother to lie and say you weren’t home when I called, and you ignored me in the halls like I was some freakin’ stranger instead of the guy who--” He took a deep breath. “I can’t see any reason why you’d want to talk now.”

  The door swung open. “I can tell you why, J. It’s obvious that ole Dillon here has a hard on and he’s looking for an easy way to get off. He figures you were good for a quick fuck once, so why not give your ass another shot?”

  Dillon’s jaw tightened. “What were you doing, Lewis? Listening at the door?”

  “Actually, I came in here to take a leak. I pushed the door open just enough to hear what you were saying. Amazing how well the sound of bullshit carries.”

  “Yeah, well, James and I were having a private conversation. There are at least four other bathrooms in this gym. Why don’t you go find one?”

  “I don’t think so.” Ben turned to Jamie. “You okay, kid?”

  Jamie nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Good.” Ben held out his hand. “Come on. Let’s get outta here.”

  Jamie edged around Dillon and followed Lewis out. The smart thing would have been to let them leave and try talking to Jamie when Lewis wasn’t around, but Dillon couldn’t afford to wait. He exited the bathroom, right on Jamie’s heels.

  “What are you, Lewis? His bodyguard?”

  They’d reached the edge of the dance floor, and even with the music blaring, the raised voices were starting to attract attention. Dillon saw Megan coming over and cursed himself. He hadn’t wanted to bring her into this, but it was too late now.

  Ben turned, his face wreathed in anger. “Yeah, well, somebody’s got to be. Haven’t you hurt him enough?”

  “I wasn’t going to hurt him. All I wanted to do was talk.”

  Jamie tugged on the sleeve of Ben’s leather jacket. “It’s okay, Ben. Let’s just get out of here.”

  Ben didn’t budge. “No, it’s not okay, J. Guys like Carver think they can just walk all over us. Who’s gonna care what happens to a bunch of fags?”

  Megan walked up behind Dillon. “Dillon, maybe we should go.”

  Ben sneered. “Why don’t you listen to your little girlfriend, Carver? For a breeder, she makes good sense.”

  Dillon stepped in front of Megan, shielding her from Ben’s view. “Leave her out of this, Lewis. Whatever’s going on here is between me and you.”

  “Yeah? That’s funny, because I could have sworn you were trying to make it between you and J.” His expression went from go-to-hell sneer to evil grin in two seconds flat. “Maybe making it is your problem to begin with, Carver.”

  Dillon stepped forward, heedless of Megan’s attempts to pull him back. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Maybe the reason you’re so hot to ‘talk’ to my boy here is because the little lady wouldn’t let you into her panties and you’re looking to get it somewhere else.”

  “Shut the fuck up, Lewis.”

  “What’s the matter, Carver? Did you catch yourself a frigid bitch who won’t put out?”

  Dillon had no memory of moving from point A to point B. All he remembered was the satisfying feel of teeth hitting flesh as he belted Lewis in the mouth. He’d have a row of cuts to his knuckles, but he could care less. No way was he gonna let that son-of-a-bitch talk about Megan like that.

  Lewis pitched his body forward and sent them both tumbling to the ground. He and Dillon rolled, punches flying from both sides. Dillon wasn’t sure who got in the most licks, and he might be sore as hell in the morning, but it felt so good to give Lewis even half of the beating he’d been dying to give him for weeks. He’d just landed a solid smack to Lewis’s jaw when he felt himself being hauled to his feet. He looked across and saw Nathan Nash holding Lewis with his arms pinned behind his back. Ben was putting up a good fight, but Nate was obviously a lot stronger than he looked. Wait. If Nate was holding Lewis, then that meant . . .

  Dillon titled his head to the side and stared up into the flashing blue eyes of Sheriff Brandon Nash. Brandon’s dark hair was standing on end from the struggle, and the look on his face was a mixture of anger and pure annoyance. “Does anybody want to tell me what in the hell is going on here?”

  Everyone started talking at once. Megan was hollering, “That cretin insulted my honor,” while Jamie was going on and on about being “ambushed” in the bathroom. Dillon did his best to stammer out a defense, all the while being held tight with his back against a chest that closely resembled a brick wall. It was Ben that finally put the nail in all their coffins, though. Still struggling to break free of Nate’s hold, he said, “I know my rights, and I don’t have to tell you a damn thing without my lawyer present. And if your little wife here doesn’t get the fuck off me, I’ll file assault charges against every last one of you.”

  Brandon might have been willing to let it go if Ben hadn’t opened his mouth, but Dillon had no doubt that the insult against Nate was the last straw. With an audible sigh, Brandon said, “So much for the idea of sneaking in a few dances with my husband. Let’s take this down to the station. I have a feeling it’s gonna be a long night.”

  Chapter 2

  Dillon didn’t even realize he was drumming his fingers against the scarred surface of the metal table in the dimly lit interrogation room until Megan reached across, put her hand over his, and said, “Will you knock it off already?”

  “Sorry.” He put his hands in his lap. “It’s not everyday I get arrested. Guess I’m not up on prison protocol.”

  “He didn’t arrest you, Dillon. Not yet, anyway.” She looked down at her watch. “I’m thinking he’s probably not going to, either. We’ve been sitting in here by ourselves for almost an hour. I think if he were gonna charge you with something, he’d have done it by now.”

  Dillon snorted. “Yeah, right. And I’m thinking he’s been in there, all this time, getting Lewis’s side of the story. Your brother’s probably trying to figure out the best way to put us all behind bars.” He covered his face with his hands. “God, I am so screwed.”

  The door swung open and Dillon looked up to see Brandon lounging against the door frame. “A bit melodramatic, Carver, but I’d say screwed is a pretty accurate description for the state you’re in right now.” Obviously, he’d been listening to them through the intercom. He pulled a rickety chair from against the wall and positioned it backwards against the head of the table. Straddling it, he said, “To just what degree you’re screwed depends o
n your explanation for what happened tonight. You wanna tell me why I was called down to investigate a possible gay bashing only to end up hauling my sister’s boyfriend in for assault? Is this your idea of taking good care of Megan? What’s next? You gonna drag her into a bar brawl down at Shorty’s Pub?”

  Megan started to speak, but Dillon stopped her. “It’s okay, Megan. He’s right. I had no business dragging you into the mess I’ve made.” He turned back to face Brandon. “I owe you both an apology.” He stood up and held out his wrists. “I’m ready to be cuffed and printed, or whatever it is you guys do.”

  Brandon sighed. “Sit back down, kid. First of all, I think maybe you’ve seen way to many episodes of Law and Order. Next up you’ll be demanding your one phone call. Secondly, I’m not going to arrest you, although I could book you for assault, easy. No less than six people swear they saw you cram your fist down Ben Lewis’s throat, making the entire altercation essentially your fault. Lucky for you, Mr. Lewis has declined to press charges.”

  At the exact same time, Megan and Dillon both said, “Really?”

  “Yep. And let me tell you, that’s no minor miracle considering the fact that Ben Lewis has an arrest record longer than my arm, and that’s just the stuff he’s been charged with since he turned eighteen. The only reason he isn’t in jail is because most of his offenses are misdemeanors. Even so, I figured he’d jump at the chance to be on the other side of the law for a change.”

  “So why didn’t he press charges against me?”

  “You owe James Walker for that one, kid.”

  Megan grabbed hold of that. “James talked Ben out of pressing charges?”

  Brandon nodded. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t heard it for myself.” Brandon addressed his next remarks directly to Dillon. “He told Lewis that both of you were acting like a couple of ‘assholes’--his words, not mine--and that he should just forget about the whole thing. At first I was sure Lewis wouldn’t go for it, but James seems to have some kind of special hold over him. He agreed to let it slide.” Brandon narrowed his eyes. “Lewis agreed to let it slide, but that doesn’t mean I intend to. I want to know what’s going on, and I want to know now.”

  Again, it was Megan who spoke first. “Ben insulted me, Bran. Dillon was defending me, is all.”

  Brandon twisted his wedding band around on his finger. “I understand all too well the desire to protect the ones you love. Hell, when Morgan asked me to patrol that dance tonight, I insisted that Nate come with me because I can hardly stand to have him out of my sight. He’s in my office right now, waiting for me, and I want nothing more than to wrap this whole mess up so I can get back to him.” He looked directly at Dillon. “If you tell me right now that this grand passion you feel for my sister motivated you to rush to her defense, we’ll chalk this one up to young love and call it a night.” Dillon knew he was being offered an easy out, and part of him was dying to take it. He could agree with everything Brandon Nash just said and be done with it. But a larger part of him-- the part that was tired of lying and hiding all the time--wouldn’t stand for it. He was surprised at how calm his voice sounded when he said, “I am in love, Sheriff, but not with Megan.” When Brandon’s expression started to change, he rushed out, “Don’t get me wrong. I love Megan.” He half turned and gave her a weak smile. “She’s the best friend a guy could ask for, and I did freak out when Lewis insulted her. But loving her and being ‘in love’ with her are two different things.” He cleared his throat. “I can’t be in love with Megan because that spot belongs to someone else.” He took a deep breath and jumped head first out of the closet. “I’m in love with James Walker. I have been for almost four years, and I will be for the rest of my life.”

  To Brandon’s credit, he didn’t so much as flinch. He turned to his sister. “Megan, go down to my office and tell Nate to come here, please.”

  “Bran--”

  “Just do it, Meggie. Nate’s a lot better with this stuff than I am.” He rubbed his hand over his face and stood up. “I’m gonna check and see if there’s any fresh coffee. The stronger the better. I’m guessing this is gonna be one hell of a story, and I think we’re all gonna need a shot of caffeine before we’re through.”

  * * *

  Ben and Jamie sat side by side on a bench outside Deputy Sam Whit’s office. Whit, the sheriff’s right hand man, gave both of them a long, hard look. “Did both you boys get in touch with your folks?” As if he suddenly remembered that neither of them actually had parents, Sam said, “I, uh. . .what I meant was, do you both have someone coming to pick you up and sign you out.”

  Ben just shrugged, but Jamie said, “Yes, sir. My aunt’s on her way to get me, and Ben’s foster mom said she’d be down here in a sec.”

  Sam nodded. “Good. I’ll be in my office finishing up the paperwork. Have both ladies come in and sign before you leave.” He went inside and shut the door, leaving them basically alone.

  Ben waited until he was sure Sam was gone before turning to Jamie and saying, “I’m sorry about this, J. I hope I didn’t get you into any trouble with your aunt.”

  “Nah. For an old lady, she’s actually kinda cool. She didn’t sound too thrilled on the phone, but I don’t think she’ll stay mad for long.” He paused. “Ben?”

  Ben sighed. “Let me guess. You wanna know why I kissed you?”

  Jamie nodded. “I figure you did it to piss Dillon off.”

  “That’s part of it. I’ve seen the way he watches you, J. The guy’s still got a thing for you, but he hasn’t got the balls to do anything about it. I wanted him to see what he was missing.”

  Jamie leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. “Considering the fact that he and Megan are practically engaged, I doubt he’s missing anything I could give him.” He opened his eyes and turned his head back towards Ben. “You said part of the reason you kissed me was to get at Dillon. What’s the other part?”

  Ben took a deep breath. “I did it because I love you.” He must have seen the alarm on Jamie’s face because he said, “Not like that. I know Carver’s the only one for you. God only knows why, but he is.” He moved his fingers down his left leg and tugged at the rip in his jeans. “I know you’ll always have a thing for him. Why do you think I let him get away with punching me like that instead of frying his ass? I dropped the charges because I knew it’s what you wanted me to do.” His lowered his voice so that Jamie had to strain just to hear him. “But I do love you, J. Like a friend.” He shook his head. “No, more like a brother.” He ran his hand over his face. “Damn. I’m no good with all this mushy shit. I just wanted you to know how I feel about you. You’ve meant more to me than anyone else ever has. Or ever could.”

  “What about the guy you’re seeing?”

  Ben shrugged. “No. I don’t know, maybe. I think I could love him, if I tried, but right now it’s not about that with us. We give each other a good time, but he’ll never mean to me what you do.” Ben grimaced. “Besides, when he finds out the truth about me, he’ll be history.”

  It was Jamie’s turn to shake his head. “I don’t buy that. You couldn’t help what that prick C.P.S. sent you to live with made you do. If your boy dumps you because of something you were forced to do, he doesn’t deserve you.”

  “I’m not talking about that, although, God knows what Burke made me do is bad enough.” He focused his eyes on Jamie’s face. Jamie got the feeling he was looking for something, but he had no clue what it could be. Ben said, “You have no idea what’s inside me, J. What I’m capable of. I’ve seen and done things that would make you sick to your stomach. And not just when I was living with Burke. If you knew even half of it, you’d walk away from me and never look back.”

  “Ben--”

  Ben held up his hand. “No, let me finish. Knowing you, you probably wouldn’t turn your back on me. You’ve stood by me through everything else. Two shoplifting arrests and a bust for that joint I had in my pocket during shop class. You even took up for me
when I got suspended for chucking those smoke bombs in the girl’s bathroom a couple weeks back.”

  Jamie snickered. “Actually, I thought that one was downright genius on your part. Tina Marks came running out with her panties down around her ankles screaming ‘Fire’ at the top of her lungs.”

  Ben laughed, too, but it quickly faded. “That’s my point. No matter what I do, you’re always there for me. You’ve never let me down, not ever.” He got quiet for a minute, and Jamie could almost swear he saw tears in Ben’s eyes. Before he had a chance to say anything, Ben straightened up on the bench and said, “Damn. I hope Nora gets here soon. I told my boy I’d meet him before midnight. It’s got to be going on eleven already.”

  “You’re meeting him tonight?”

  “Yep.”

  “Where?”

  “You know the old Tanner Textile Mill?”